Tales From The Video Store...

Ok, so with it being a bright sunny Sunday afternoon, with Labour Day tomorrow people are grabbing overnight DVD's like they are women at a shoe sale, so once again im left with many many small unattended children left in my store while "Mummy pops into the pet store/ cafe/ chicken place with FKC in the title. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *rips out hair*

Then to make matters ever better I had a pair of young not so gentlemen harrassing my customers with "the good word". Ok religion is someone's own personal deal, no one should ever have the right to tell a person what to believe, but these kids were standing like not even a foot away from my customers and asking them way personal questions, one of my favourites being to a young teenage couple "Are you having pre marital fornication, because in *Insert religious icon's name here* eyes you are both going to hell and will burn forever." D= WHAT??!! Don't tell my customers that!!!!!

The only thing these kids did that was worthwhile was scare the creepies out from my porn room. Why do all the crazies come to my store lol

1) It's a rule that you cannot eat or drink in the store, so if I tell a customer they cannot bring their food/ drink/ beer (really wtf!!) into the store i usually get one of three responses.  
A: "oops, sure i'll just finish this outside and then i'll come back in, sorry about that etc etc.

B: What?! Where does it say that? F*$k off Bitch *mumble mumble bitch mumble*. At this point they usually leave mumbling about how im evil devil spawn because I wouldn't let them drip subway juice around my beautiful store I just cleaned.            And the one that really surprised me.......

C: What did you say to me????????!!!! *insert angry face here* F&*K YOU *Slams remainder of food/drink/beer onto floor* Have fun cleaning that up! What really annoys me is when customers are finishing off a drink or food and i don't catch them bringing it into the store, instead of asking me to throw their food/ drink scraps out they just leave it in the store on a shelf for me to find! I'd hate to see how they treat their houses if this is how they treat my store!

2) When groups of children, sometimes as young as 3 years old just rock on into my store and are throwing dvds being loud, messing up my shelves and being soooo annoying as only children can be, for anywhere from 5 mins up to an hour. Then Mum/Dad/Auntie/whoever strolls on in and yells "OI KIDS HURRY UP" and then strolls out with their devilspawn in tow. WTF? Im not a babysitter, this has happened when parents go into the post shop, bank, pet store, any of these things can take anywhere from 5 mins to an hour. Im so tempted to start charging these parents, how much is the rate for babysiters now?

3) Now number 2 directly affects 3, because this has happened twice in the store now, where a couple of kids will be left in our store, and they need to go to the toilet, but there are no parents around to ask, so they just go in the store. Yep I'll repeat that, these kids will just go to the toilet in the store....................... Twice now we've had kids poop in the store, and instead of telling the staff, they just walk away and leave it for us to find! G.R.O.S.S!!!!! Now if a kid pees, it's not such a big deal, all that requires is a mop and hot water with an array of disinfectants, nice smelling soaps and my trusty "CAUTION WET" signs. Poop however, is a different matter alltogether!

I feel much better for that little complaning session.....

I post about some of the more sucky and stupid customers, but I never mention how great it is working at my store, and some of the customers that totally make my day/afternoon/evening.

First of all this is the first place I've worked where I adore all of my co workers. I understand that having to work with people you don't get along with is something everyone has to do, I know I've had my share of co worker sucks with other jobs, but at this *Video Store* it's honestly a pleasure to come into work and shoot the breeze with everyone. I have a boss who's so nice and friendly, a general manager who's a laugh riot and treats everyone like an equal unlike some managers I've had to deal with at other jobs, and all my co workers do their job to the best of their abilities and are just really great friendly people.

The customers, although I get my share of crazies and special snowflakes they are actually for the most part really nice and friendly. I get to talk movies with people all the time, I can recommend flicks or advise people to run far far away from certain movies (Meet the Spartans). You get to know a lot of the regular families and individuals that come in, get to know their tastes in films and help find flicks they might enjoy.

I'll end with a customer awesome instead of a suck. This actually happened at my old *Video Store* store AGES ago lol but it makes me smile to this day. I had a regular customer come in one day, I'll call her L, and through general small talk I mentioned it was my birthday in a couple of days which was a big deal because I was turning 21 and way really excited about it, so L wished my happy birthday and we chatted a bit more about this and that, one of the things we discussed was that I collect cute pens. The next day I had only just started my shift when L came back into the store with a small present wrapped in purple wrapping with an adorable little white bow on the top (I was stunned she remembered my fav colour was purple), inside was the cutest pen shaped like a glossy pink lipstick and wrote in fluro pink.

I still have that pen, I carry it with me everywhere and every time I see it I smile and it helps me get through any particularly tough days.

Dear lying porn dude,
When you discover you have late fees because you brought your porn dvd back at 10:15pm last night as I was heading to my car to go home don't lie and tell my boss you hand delivered it to me in the middle of the afternoon and I didn't return it through the system. Oh yes, you can describe me, because you saw me walking to my damn car, and security cameras don't lie, you never entered our store that day. Just pay your $8 and leave!

To annoying phone woman,
Can you not call me 5 times a night to ask when the new Star Trek movie is coming into our store, using different voices wont make me hate you less, I still know it's you! Yea im excited to see it too, but it isn't even completed yet, so there's no way i could give you a dvd release date, and no im not saying this to keep this uber cool movie ALL to myself, no im not saying this because im a bitch either, or because you're black, im on the T.E.L.E.P.H.O.N.E to you, how do I know what colour you are, you could be purple with yellow spots for all i care I STILL can't give you a release date!

To whom it may concern,
I am not giving you late fees because you're black/white/blue/yellow/pink with orange spots. Im giving them to you because you returned your overnight dvd 3 days late. Oh yeah AND IT'S STORE POLICY! No I wont wave the fee for you, not even if you ask nicely, not even if you offer to take me out, and especially if you yell/scream/point viciously at me, it will just make me ban you from renting movies until you've payed your $24 off. Also, I understand you read some article on the internet about saving money, and that it told you to barter with the cashiers, that should work really well at a car dealership, electronics store, or a flea market. BUT NOT HERE! In places like KMart, The Warehouse and *Video Store* the cashier has no control over what head office charges for Dvd's and rentals. Yes I COULD override that price, it's possible to do so on the computer, but you're a pain in my ass and not worth my job! So do everyone a favor and jump off Auckland Bridge with rocks in your pockets and cement shoes on, jerk.

Also just a couple of things that really annoy me:
1) If I smile at you and say goodmorning/afternoon don't ignore me, give me a dismissive wave, stinkeye me or flip me off, im JUST saying hi, it's my JOB! Trust me I hate it as much as you obviously do
2) When I tell you where a movie is don't walk off in the other direction ignoring what I said totally then bitch when you can't find it
3) If you need help finding said DVD ask nicely, don't yell "Oi, you, come here" or click your fingers at me, OR wave at me to come over, im not a dog, or a servant, I am a clerk and I have years of pent up anger I could take out on you.... don't tempt me!
4) Don't lie. About when you returned a dvd, if you scratched a dvd, if you have fees owing at another store, about anything like that, i'll find out, then i'll charge you for whatever it is you've done, if you just told me you scratched/returned the dvd late i'd of waved the charge and said have a nice day, because i do that with my nicer customers..... but for you, i'll charge full price.
5) Return slots are for dvd's not rubbish/chewing gum/ food scraps/ or to try and pee into.

There are so many more things I could write but i'll leave them for another night

The video store I work in seems to have some of the most clueless members to EVER hire movies. These are some of their stories

Clueless Chick works at the gas station across the road from me and my ever wonderful store, she comes in around once a month and always asks the same stupid damn question. Every. Bloody. Time.

"Uhm like do you have *insert name of movie that has ONLY JUST come into cinemas in NZ* in yet?"

My answer is always, "no im really sorry that movie has only just come out in the cinema and wont be in our store for at least three months, would you like me to make a note in your account so when we do get it you can reserve a copy?"

This is when im hit with her usual babble of how "you totally do have it, I know, my boyfriend hired it from you yesterday, you just don't want me to have the movie because im *insert random comment here, once she even said it was because she was white and I was being racist..... RACIST!*"

It would be one thing if this happened once, maybe twice, but she has managed to do this to me almost once every month or two since I have started working at my video store. It's been well over a year now, and she still can't understand why I keep all the good movies from her......... *head desk*

The video store I work in seems to have some of the most clueless members to EVER hire movies. These are some of their stories

I like to call this particular customer Mr Chatty. He's about mid 20's, unemployed, lives alone, doesn't know many people in the area. His Dad lives about 2 hours drive down south from him, and his brother lives about an hours drive north. I found all this out, when he came in to sign up.... And he was in the store for less then 10 minutes.

In fact I know almost everything about this guy's personal life. Every Wednesday, without fail he shows up to pick out his 6 movies for the week. Apart from getting his food shopping once every 2 weeks or checking in with his WINZ case manager every 3 months, (Work and Income New Zealand, where the unemployed scam money off this great country of mine!). Talking to me seems to be one of the few times he gets proper human contact. So every Wednesday I would put on my biggest grin, and ask how Mr Chatty's week had been, and he'd chat away to me for almost a solid hour.

During these chats I found out he's ALWAYS lived in this area, he could make friends just fine, but eventually they'd change their numbers or just move away. At this point I felt awful for him. This poor bugger had clearly had the worst luck, no job, no real money, no friends. On the bright side he always took my movie suggestions and almost always liked the movies I picked for him.

Now one week I had the flu. It was bad. There was snot and sneezing and flem, the works! So I missed work that week. And missed my weekly meeting with Mr Chatty. By the next week I was feeling much better and waited for his arrival on Wednesday. When he finally came in I smiled and asked how Mr Chatty's week had been.......... And then he started yelling at me. He went on for almost a full 20 minutes about how I was a lazy slut and if I didn't want to talk to him or want him as a customer I should have just said so, and how dare my fat ass not show up to work! Now I get yelled at a lot, I work in a shitty video store in a bad neighborhood. And im cool with that, I can deal with assholes who come in and bitch about their late fees..... But this...... I was SICK and still clearly WAS SICK!!!!! So as Mr Chatty ranted and raved about how I was so pathetic for not telling him face to face that I "didn't want to be his friend" I picked up the phone and quietly started dialing the police, when he realized what I was doing he ran off, I still called the cops and an officer came down to get Mr Chatty's info for future reference

Turns out Mr Chatty had been banned by most stores and malls in the greater West Auckland area, as he had a tendency to become overly attached and emotional with staff members. I understand now why he had such a problem making friends! It's been about 3 months since I last saw Mr Chatty, but I made sure to let all the video stores in my area know what he looks like and the kind of person he is...... "special" to say the least.

The video store I work in seems to have some of the most clueless members to EVER hire movies. These are some of their stories

Pervy Old Guy, or POG as I like to call him, has a certain type of movie he ONLY EVER rents. Tween girly movies.  Now I know for a fact he lives alone, doesn't have a wife, and has no children or grand-kids, and since he is an only child he doesn't have any nephews or nieces to hire these movies for. I know all this because he's old and likes to chit chat when he rocks into the store. Which normally I wouldn't mind, but he honestly gives me the creeps!

This week he has rented:
High School Musical 1
High School Musical 2
So Little Time Volume 1 (Featuring the Olsen Twins)
Sleepover

All of these movies have underage girls doing god knows what. Maybe he actually likes this kind of film not because of the girls, but because it's what he's into.... but he just gives off this molester vibe.... *shudder* So glad he only comes in fortnightly!

The video store I work in seems to have some of the most clueless members to EVER hire movies. These are some of their stories

This sicko.. well screw it his name can be sicko! This guy LOVES to rent porn. And first off, I don't have a problem with people renting porn, lets just get that fact in there, but this damn guy, he's disgusting! So on a Monday night we have half price New Release night, and Sicko will come in and hire 4 New Release porn movies. Usually it's Teen-something, anyway he hires these movies and walks the maybe 5 minute walk back to his house.

Now that's not the gross part, the gross part is 40 minutes later Sicko cums comes back!!! I mean you can time him by a stop watch, 40 minutes later and he's back, looking sweaty, smelling like... "special sauce" and sex, wearing the same clothes, CLEARLY hasn't showered, and since the cases are ALWAYS STICKY he doesn't even seem to wash his hands!

He returns the movies, and proceeds to hire out 4 weekly Porn movies, usually Asian-something this time. And he pays for them and leaves. Now he will hold onto those movies for the whole week, and THOSE movies always come back clean. It's the New Releases I take issue with. and if the guy didn't spend so much damn money at our store I'd ban his ass.

But ban him I do not. I just continue mopping up his "special sauce" off the damn New Releases, and praying he wont be back next Monday....

The video store I work in seems to have some of the most clueless members to EVER hire movies. These are some of their stories.

This particular sad-sack, let's call him Steve. Steve... well he only rents sequels. He NEVER watches the first movie in a series, only the sequels. The gems he chose to rent today were:

Ripley's Game (sequel to The Talented Mr Ripley)
Skulls 2 (rich white boys who can't act take two)
Scream 2 (Neve Campbell.... enough said)
Butterfly Effect 2 (without Ashton... so might actually be better??)
and last but not least..... Basic Instinct 2 (ONE OF THE BIGGEST WASTES OF MONEY AND FILM TO DATE!!!!!!!)

I asked him why he only ever watched the sequels to movies and never the first movie itself......... and he looked me in the eye, and dead serious he said "I find sequels to be better films, they are made better then the originals so I just don't bother with them."

Just....................................... wow.

It would be one thing if he was hiring some of the few TRULY great sequels like Godfather 2, Aliens, Terminator 2, or Kill Bill 2..... which to be fair was just the second half of the Kill Bill movie really, so im not sure it counts.... but that's getting off topic.

It just stuns me on a daily basis how beyond moronic some of these people who rent movies are, and the fact that they have NO TASTE! Geeze....

The video store I work in seems to have some of the dumbest members to EVER hire movies. These are some of their stories.

Well actually this guy was trying to buy movies, which is fine. I love it when people walk in off the street and take a look @ our selection of ex rentals or new dvds to buy, we pride ourselves on how well our ex rentals play at my store. This guy looked around for a while at some of our ex rentals, then came up and asked if we had Kung Fu Panda for sale. We didn't.

Now Kung Fu Panda has been a hard movie to find for a while because of shipping problems into NZ for certain dvds, but it's becoming less hard to find. Well this guy seemed to have been looking for the dvd for a while now. And when I told him we didn't have it, he just lost his shit and flat out told me I had just ruined Christmas for his son.

I hate Christmas shoppers sometimes