Tales From The Video Store...

*This post is one dating back from December 1st 2008, but I liked it so decided to add it here*


Twilight has forever changed the face of literature, after its violent beating and rape of the English language, it left the corpse to rot in a sticky puddle of its own blood and bitter tears. All subtlety is lost as it rips out the organs of plot, characterization, and basic grammar, leaving behind a hollow shell of a vapid romance that is both void of true emotions and common sense. Where Anne Rice left off with the mere neutering of Vampires as monsters, Meyers has gone and done a full gender reassignment.

In New Zealand the movie Twilight wont be out until Boxing Day, so I still have about 3 and a half weeks of this stupidity to endure. I have on average around 3 customers a shift either calling or coming in to ask if they can hire a copy of Twilight, and when they find out that it's not even out in the cinema's yet they want to know when it will be released to DVD and if they can hire it.

We don't get told what's coming out until two months before (if we're lucky), so we have no clue, and even then release dates can change. So at least 3 times a shift I explain this to Twilight's most annoying die hard fans in the nicest way possible *smile smile dies inside smile*, and almost every time I either get told im clearly useless and don't know how to do my job, they want to know how I cannot be obsessively following the DVD release date of ZOMGTHEBESTMOVIEEVERRRR, or once in a New Moon I get cussed out over it.

Im really getting sick of this crap, by the time the movie has actually come out in New Zealand it's all too possible that i will have gone crazy.

Another suck which is coming up more and more is people who want to discuss...... at great length I might add, why they love/ hate the books, at first it was ok because i really like the books so i know enough about them to not sound totally stupid when asked my opinion, but some aspects of the books are a little silly....... Sparkling Vampires for instance. But for a lot of these fangirls (and a couple of emo boys, oddly enough) you cannot I repeat CANNOT say anything bad about the books for fear of death, or worse, them trying for anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes to convince you that ZOMGYOUARESOWRONGGG. I think im going to have to put these books on the "things of which we do not speak" list right under politics and religion.

What. The. Fuck.

I had a group of teenage boys come into my store tonight, and none of them were wearing pants, boxers yes, but no pants............................... 4 kids, all, no pants.

I told them they either had to put on pants or leave the store right now, and one of the kids asked me in the most astounded voice "Why do we need pants?" After I told him they tried to argue with me about the point, like I'd cave in and realize that my requirement for them to not be in their undies is silly. Pants..... no pants, just boxers, oh and singlets................ GAH!

Kids:
Im sorry your parents didn't teach you kids manners or how to dress but it's not acceptable to walk into a store in your undies.... EVER! Why I need to explain this to you I have no idea, clearly your parents are all idiots who shouldn't have children in the first place, GTFO

I don't object to the movie at all. The MOVIE is fine, however the people who hire it, are morons! Ok well not all of them, just the ones who insist on singing.................. yepp SINGING! Now I try and be happy and chatty with my customers, I pride myself on good customer service.... but it doesn not mean im your friend, at the end of the day im still a clerk and they are still customers, boundaries people!

Some customers come in and ask "do you guys have the musical, you know the one.... Waterloo... that's where I go when...." STOP SINGING, just because it's an Abba song doesn't mean it's in the movie, and yes we do have the movie Mamma Mia.... it's over there, go away now!

Other customer just love the movie so damn much they break into song, please for the love of all that is good and holy, don't break into song, I know you love the movie, and the songs are classics........ SO STOP BUTCHERING THEM!

This has happened at least 4 times today, I cannot wait for this shift to end, no more singing, for the love of God!

A 23 year old man was found dead in Wellington's Reading Cinema after watching a screening of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. He had attended a 6pm screening of the film, the latest installment in the supernatural Twilight franchise, which revolves around a love triangle between human girl Bella, vampire Edward Cullen and werewolf Jacob Black.

The police have stated that the man's death was not suspicious and he had no obvious injuries. When the cleaners found him after the screening he was slumped in his seat and they merely thought he had fallen asleep during the movie. The mans body was found by staff shortly before 8:30pm.


The full story can be read here: http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/breaking-news/man-dies-during-twil...